Open-minded.

I was recently talking to a girl, a potential date, and she mentioned she believes in "spirits."

I like to be up-front about these things so I told her I am skeptical about "spirits."

She asked me if I was open-minded on the issue, and I said yes. We continued to talk about it, and eventually she accused me of being closed-minded. This confused me. I said "I'm not... I'm willing to have my mind changed. I'm willing to listen to your evidence... but just because I don't accept it doesn't mean I'm closed-minded."

That ended that conversation.

Today I was talking to another girl, another potential date. This time the topic was adoption. We were talking about kids. I said "I've always wanted to adopt." She said she wanted to give birth. She said she thought adoption was noble, or something like that, but that she didn't want to do it. I said it's what I wanted to do.

Fine, right? Plenty of fish in the sea, no worries, I'm more than willing to move on.

But then she says "I'm willing to be open-minded about adopting, why aren't you open-minded about natural birth?"

I was surprised. Again I said "I am open-minded... I'm willing to listen to anything you have to say on the matter, but none of it has changed my mind so far. That doesn't mean I'm closed-minded, just that you have not convinced me."

She called me an asshole and that was that.

I hear the same thing from theists all the time. They are convinced that god is real... yet they accuse me of being closed-minded. Even though I'm willing to listen to their arguments.

What is the disconnect here? Why is my definition of open-mindedness so different from other people's? Anyone have any idea?